As we fly back to the states in elegance (well aware that this might be the only time in our lives to travel business class), it occurs to me that this trip was one that probably salvaged my mental health. Having been fired 24 hours before we flew out gave me little time for wallowing in shock, anger, and sadness. (People have said that not having a contract renewed and being fired aren’t the same thing, but if being fired feels worse, it must be pretty awful.) Had we been in Memphis all of this time, it would have been much harder to gain some perspective. Travel to faraway places and going to the ocean always do that for me. We met some really great people and made some new friends (shout-out to Bryan and Sarah!), and all of that helped me to understand that the world is full of good and beauty and love. I’ve got some grieving yet to do and I’m sure that there will be some bumpy road ahead as I try to figure out a new identity at 57. Having wanted almost all of my adult life to be a teacher, being that, and now not being that is a real “WTF do I do with the rest of my life?” challenge. I appreciate all of you who have touched base to give me hope that the universe must have something meaningful in store. If I I only knew what is was, it would little easier to wait for it. My guess is that most everyone over the age of what? Seven or eight? has experienced that at some point, which is also a good salve on the wound. I have given much thought to karma and what lessons I need to learn from this. If anyone has any suggestions about that, send them on.
Being in Italy provided some fabulous thinking room. It’s a gorgeous country, full of old and new, and teeming with friendly people. It’s also a country with a history (some current) of egocentric and narcissistic political leaders, much like our current White House occupant. They have survived this. Unlike us, they have been both conquering and conquered. They are a proud people - proud of their combined histories and their food and their wine. For me, I felt like part of my mission was to communicate that not all U.S. people thought that our current political situation was normal. It felt like many of them kind of shrugged it off, knowing that this, too, shall pass.
The undercurrent of religion is, not surprisingly, vibrant and although you hear it with the church bells, people don’t seem to wear it on their sleeves. Rather, it is represented in the incredible art of their ancestors as if to say, Here is what we are. And there is incredible art. I suppose there would be incredible art if Christianity had not been such a major force, because talent was there, but it was really something to see it. And the juxtaposition with the ancient Roman mythological figures, to me, kind of sums up the country.
We tend not to like those as much as being in the country, so I don’t know that we would ever return to the large cities, despite the many rebukes we received for not spending enough time there. (Our driver this morning said that it was criminal not to give Rome more time!) There is so much of the world to see, so we may not ever have a chance to go back. It is certainly a privilege to have been there this time.
And Dan just walked over from his seat on the plane and kissed me. Then there’s that.
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